Our sex and relationship therapy services provide support for sexual, intimate, and erotic health concerns. We view sex and erotic health as a fundamental, beneficial, and critical aspect of human life.
Sex is not just about performance. Though sex therapists readily work with concerns related to desire, arousal, orgasm, and other performance issues, sex therapy embraces a view of sex as part of human nature, a mixture of pleasure and connection, and performance is not the ultimate goal for all sex therapy clients. We consider goals such as sexual empathy, sexual sense of humor, self-acceptance, capacity to navigate inevitable ups and downs in performance, a deeper understanding of one's erotic map and how to use this map to experience pleasure even when pleasure is not from "typical" experiences or responses, tools to navigate self-criticism and shame, pleasure and touch that are not focused on orgasm as a goal, accepting aging and the changes to our lives and our bodies, connecting with our erotic and sexual nature in new and playful ways, improving authenticity and communication, and more.
We provide services for a variety of concerns, including:
Enjoying sex with the body we have
Resolving conflict about sexual behavior in relationships
Recovering sexual health from trauma, neglect, or abuse (physical, sexual, emotional)
Help for concerns related to pain during sex and sex play
Impulsive or compulsive masturbation
Compulsive or impulsive sexual behavior/hypersexuality(sometimes referred to as "sex addiction" in common language)
Kink/BDSM/Fet etc. sexual and relationship health
Exploring sexual orientation (LGBTQIAP)
Relationship and sexual health in polyamorous relationships
Relationship and sexual health in swing and open relationships
Relationship health for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, genderqueer, intersex, asexual, pansexual and other sexual orientations
Performance concerns such as premature ejaculation/fast orgasm, inability to orgasm, delayed orgasms, concerns with arousal (keeping an erection or sustaining arousal)
Deepening intimacy and connection during sexual and erotic encounters
Concerns related to sexual orientation beyond gender-specific orientations
Deepening pleasure and playfulness/spontaneity during sexual encounters
Finding sexual and erotic health in recovery from substance abuse concerns
Finding sexual health and erotic intimacy with mental or physical health concerns
Exploring, understanding, and finding healthy ways to work with one's erotic map
Developing skills to have satisfying sexual relationships
Assisting couples in talking about sex and improving sexual communication
Recovering intimacy after an affair
Sex after cancer
Sex for differently able-bodied
Examining values and choices in one's sexual and relational life
Working through avoidance concerns
Challenging "turn-ons" that interfere with life (being attracted to someone or something that interferes with life activities or sense of self/integrity)
Increasing sexual empathy for increased pleasure and connection
Reconnecting sexually before, during, and after childbirth or bringing children into one's home (adoption, caring for children in a family system, etc.)
In addition to sexual health concerns, we provide support for gender health:
Support for transition for transgender individuals, partners, and families
Therapy for parents and partners of transgender and genderqueer people
Therapy for individuals understanding their gender identity: genderqueer, non-binary, gender fluid, gender creative, gender non-conforming etc.
Sex therapy utilizes many disciplines to assist with sexual health concerns - medical, anthropological/sociological/cultural, psychological, spiritual, and historical. Thus board certification, which includes coursework and supervision along with continuing education requirements, allows clinicians to assist with sexual and erotic health concerns from a broad base of knowledge and experience. Challenging typical but inaccurate and unhelpful advice and our culture's deeply ingrained myths and beliefs about sex is critical to sexual health. Human sexuality is essentially variable and vulnerable - quite different that portrayed by media and other common sources of information. Good sex is not necessarily "typical" sex or the sex we often see in movies, TV, etc. Good sex is not about what "men" and "women" want. Good sex is personal, based on the individuals involved, and may not be ordinary or typical in any sense or may be in every sense. An orgasm from a foot massage is still an orgasm, and may be more pleasurable to the person.
Both the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and the American Board of Sexology have set rigorous standards for national board certification. Dr. Minten has been certified by both boards, and she has remained a board certified sex therapist since 2006.
No therapist can promise results. Our office provides advanced practice and research-based services. Dr Minten stays current with sexual health, relational health, teaching, supervision, and clinical practice research to provide quality programs to clients, professionals, students, interns, and organizations.
One would expect that millions of years of evolution produced a very reliable human reproductive system with build-in redundancies, resulting in a robust sex drive, unfailing physiological mechanisms, and simple, consistent patterns of reproductive behavior and responsiveness...
In reality, however, humans exhibit an enormous variety of sexual behaviors and preferences, while population studies reveal a surprisingly high prevalence of sexual problems and dysfunctions. Clearly, human sexuality appears to be characterized by diversity and fragility rather than by evolutionary conformity and sturdiness.
(Verhulst & Reynolds, 2009, p. 320)
It’s no longer enough to grab a bite then go home and do a little shagging. Today, we have to understand why we do this, why our partner does this, how we can do it longer, more artfully, and more frequently, and why we are not doing it in with someone in a higher income bracket. As a result we mostly wind up doing it with ourselves.
We’ve been entered against our will in some sort of sexual Olympics, when all we ever wanted was a three-legged race at the company picnic.
from Women are from Manhattan
Men are from Brooklyn
What can I expect from Sex and Relationship Therapy at New Leaf Counseling and Consulting?